Hello everyone! Long time no post. I promise I haven’t ditched writing; it’s been difficult gathering up the mental stamina to be able to reflect and post it for my blog lately. But something interesting happened while I was at work in my hospital a few weeks ago and suddenly it seemed like I had so much I want to share about again.
As someone who tends to ruminate a lot about the past–my head swarms with reflections, nostaliga, regrets, and more all the time–I thought the simple answer to this would be that I think more about the past. But I’ve been so focused on the future lately. I’m applying to medical schools and constantly thinking about the day when I’m (hopefully) going to be accepted and can study to become a physician. I’m constantly thinking about my next moves about what experiences I can gather and update schools about. I’m planning trips with my friends as we’re about to graduate college. I’m planning birthday surprises. So much to think ahead about that’s exciting!
A few weeks ago at the hospital, I met a patient who was having a really hard time. She had no home to go to after being discharged from the hospital and she also had no money. What seemed to be the worst part of her situation, especially to her, is that she was separated from her best friend: her dog. I sat with her for my entire shift getting to learn her story. All of a sudden, the purpose of this blog came to life again, which was to learn about others’ reflections no matter what walk of life they were from.
She taught me that in order to move forward and plan our futures, we must think about the past. As she bravely shared her experience leaving abusive systems and relationships to having her own purpose in life. She emphasized how life comes with many highs and lows. But in having experienced and reflected about the past, we can trust that our situation will get better again somehow, someway. We can think about a better future for ourselves no matter how dire our past was and our present is. That future will come as long as we care for it.
I never saw the woman again after that day. But I did hear that she was reunited with her dog. I’ve been struggling with accepting that I may never know if she’s found a home for the both of them or if they’re still outside in the cold. I’ll always pray that they don’t get separated again too. This woman is now a part of my past, but she’s shaping how I remain grounded and grateful in the present. And people like her are what is going to shape my future impact on my community.
I hope some of you reading this feel a sense of hope if you’re feeling down. I know that nowadays thinking about the future can be really stressful, especially when we feel powerless in making decisions for ourselves, our career, and our community. It’s important to remember our past and try to avoid indecision and apathy when it comes to our own futures.
Love,
Moesha ❤
SASS 